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“I’m doing Arabic tai chi,” you might say when someone sees you crouched in a stall at the Gap. Eastern thing.”, that requires Muslims to wash their hands and feet five times a day?“Uh, my foot is in the office restroom sink because I couldn’t pay my water bill,” you might say. ”Added to this list is the “lota,” which is used in Muslim communities, including most South Asian populations, to aid in cleansing rituals.With the visual acuity of an intolerant, bigoted eagle, my aunt spotted the alleged criminal act and loudly admonished me in front of my peers: “You took food with the left hand?!

The lota is a magical chalice for our peoples – it’s a traditional hand-held vessel that contains water to assist in our bathroom “activities.” Using a baseball lineup analogy, toilet paper and moist wipes are a “leadoff” hitter, but the lota functions as the “clean-up hitter,” the player with the power to bring all the players to home plate. Not long ago, an American Muslim family was detained at the airport and interviewed by the FBI. We stared at each other for several, uncomfortable seconds.

They had aroused suspicion by “lingering” near the airplane bathroom and asking for a “cup” to perform a “religious custom dictating cleanliness.”I can certainly sympathize. “Yup – thirsty.”And then I proceeded to drink the water.

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Each time we successfully used this intimidating instrument, we felt like we had just unsheathed the famed, Arthurian sword from the stone.