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He writes to tell me that he is riddled with arthritis and walks with the aid of two sticks, but 'let me reassure you that my lack of mobility in no way affects my performance in the bedroom'.
Most of the British-based men who contact me are aged 25 to 35 and aren't attractive enough to be employed as a rich woman's arm candy.
He texts me several times a day to tell me that I am gorgeous - my skin is like porcelain, my eyes are like deep pools and my hair is like golden sand.
He wants to spend Christmas with me, so that he can make me feel 'delicious all over'.
Purely in the name of investigative journalism, you understand, I set about finding out by attempting to net myself a fortune-hunting toyboy.