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Before I get into that a little background on me; I go to a school where there is an abundance of slams but they are either taken or already slammed out, whatever.

Being one of the first in my class to turn 21 I was given the best opportunity in the world (backup college quarterback non-withstanding), I could either go to the bar and try to pick up girls with questionable morals or go to a house party and definitely pick up a girl with questionable morals.

This faithful night, I decided to go the route of the bar, as the threat of snow deterred anyone from venturing to house parties.

I began pre-gaming with a few of my bros and once I had enough vodka in my system to down a small communist army, I Irish-exited my house with my wallet, my phones, and a pocketful of dreams.

I promptly finish, and fake a call from my roommate to escape.