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“Allison may have had a sense of intimacy that was never there in the first place, while he was probably dating other people,” he says.

Don’t assume someone is going to be committed unless you’ve talked about it.

Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?

Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?

“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.